Give me a break!!

My phone rings....

"Respirtory, this is IE."

I need a breathing treatment in ER bed 2.

So, I wander over to the ER, and pull the chart for bed 2.
51yo female; cheif complaint - pneumonia x 3 months; vital wnl; in bold letters, I read, IS A DAILY HEROIN USER.

Great.

"Hi, DHU (daily heroin user), my name is IE from respiratory. I
have a breathing treatment for you."

"I got pneumonia for 3 months. cough. cough. I just finished a course
of antibiotics that didn't do nutin. cough. cough. I think I need to admitted
for IV antibiotics. cough. cough."

"Okay, here's your tx, let me take a listen....take a deep breath."

Now this lady was a clear as clear can be. But 'coughing' up a storm.

"How do I sound?" she asks me.

"Not too bad for having pnuemonia for 3 months."

"Oh," she says, "well can you make it worse than it is so they will admit
me?"

"Seriously? Just sit there and take your treatment and I'll be back
in a few minutes."

So I promptly found her nurse and informed him of our conversation.

Fast forward 10 minutes, I go to take DHU's tx off.

"Now what? Aren't you gonna give me some antibiotics? And pain meds?
This pneumonia is giving me alot of pain. At least a 9."

Now how did I know this was coming????

"Now you will wait for radiology for a chest xray and probably
another breathing treatment or too."

"Hhhmmmtt. I couldda done this at home."

Don't let the door hit ya....

Sad but true

Night shift received a trauma last night. We start our shift an hour
before nursing so we can start our first round before breakfast and
before nursing comes in. It works out real well. Anyways, back to my
story.

We were in ct with this patient & the day er nurse came in to relieve
the night nurse.

Day nurse: do you want me to take over so you can leave?

Night nurse: no, I'm okay.

Day nurse: ok, good, I have some drug seekers to take care of.

Me: heehee