N95

We have a patient in isolation...r/o swine flu.

We also have no stock of N95 masks.

Lovely. I work for the biggest joke of a hospital.

Sick & twisted

The humor in healthcare is definately only understood by those who
have to function consistantly in incredibly stressful situations. We
are faced with death & sorrow daily & have a strange way of coping.

The other night, I was working with snooty childrens hospital as they
were picking up a 1 month old from our ER. The baby was extremely
sick, intubated with a post intubation gas of 7.01.

The transport team wanted a capillary gas before they left, so I poked
the heel, filled up the glass capillary tube & headed off to the
department.

As I'm putting the cap tube in the analyzer...

SNAP!!!

The tube snapped in half, cutting my fingers & spilling blood
everywhere. Mine & my patients' blood.

CRAP!!!

I spent the next 2 hrs in the ER getting blood drawn, filling out boat
loads of paperwork all while trying to convince the doc that I was
allergic to Tylenol, motrin & toradol and needed something for my
10/10 pain. No luck. I tried to get off work for 6 weeks. No luck
there either :)

My lead therapist, however took pity on me & let me go home early.

"Thanks, cool rt, for letting me go home early. I'll see you tonight
as long as I don't die of hepatitis or aids."

Without even batting an eye, he comes back with...

"Dont worry, we will keep you alive forever on a vent."

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New addition

My granddaughter was born last night. On my son's 3rd birthday.

Yes, trauma junkie, this has been a fabulous new year!

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My joy

Today my baby boy turns three.

My bonus daughter is in labor.

Will my son & granddaughter have the same birthday?

Stay tuned.

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Touché

Respiratory, this is ie.

Can you come down? Mr. 2lpm is desating.

So, I walk down & the nurse tells me that he is sob & sating in the
low 90s. She also tells me that he just finished getting blood. He is
in renal failure & scheduled for dialysis in the morning.

I look in on him as he on q4 txs already. He is obviously in distress,
pitting edema, crackles like crazy.

The nurse gives him some lasix as his wife watches our every move.
Since Albuterol makes everyone feel like we are doing something, I
decided to give him another useless treatment.

As I'm squirting the med in the naebulizer, his wife says to me,

"Is that really going to help with congestive heart failure?"

Touché

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Greetings

From the high desert of Southern California

Note to management

Thank you for the free dinner tonight.

But seriously, do you really think it is a good idea to feed turkey
with mashed potatoes & gravy to the night shift?

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